| | Everything is ice. In my eyes, on my soul, in my dreams... ice.
Everytime I look at him, I see the ice. And I can't get clean enough, I can't wear enough clothing to stop myself from feeling like his eyes of destruction are on me.
Eyes that made me trust in a lie. The fallacy that was me being stupid again.
I can't wear enough clothing. I'm sure everyone else in the house thinks I've been hurting myself again... but I haven't. For once, I don't feel like its necessary. I feel like... it would prove him in the right.
I'm stronger than him. I am. And I refuse to be scared of nothing more than a perverted boy. But I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing my skin. The skin he so desperately craves that he would violate my trust, and, in fact, my very life, to touch.
He knew of my past, I trusted him with that information. And as it turns out, he's just like the rest of them. He did exactly what they did to me.
It was ten times worse because I wasn't even coherent enough to say no. I was ASLEEP.
I can't wear enough clothing.
It feels like I'm in a prison in my own apartment. He lurks in the living room, playing with my little brother that he calls "friend" and acting just as though nothing happened. Just as he did... before I caught him at it. So I stay in my room, hidden away and trying not to let it overtake me. It makes me sick in ways that I can't comprehend to know that he was LYING to me for so long about everything... making me trust him, so he could get near the skin he lusts after... so he could touch it while I was unaware.
So he could violate me, mind, body, and soul. A mere boy, exacting this much power over me?!
I won't stand for it. I feel nothing but rage and pity for the sick fool. And in that rage... I will NOT give him the satisfaction of seeing the skin he so desperately lusts after.
I can't wear enough clothes to stop the ice from forming. Someone... rescue me.
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| | Posted 8/3/2006 10:14 PM - 15 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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